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Never Fully Heard #06
Nick Horton
September 11, 2022
The 5-minute mental health newsletter.
Never Fully Heard is a space for men to listen to and engage in open, vulnerable & uncomfortable conversations to help improve their mental health being.
In today's edition
Meme of the week: Self destructive behaviours
Self-reflection question of the week: Habits & how to change them
Article of the week - Risk, sexless men & messiahs
Sahil's 15 rules for life
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It's Sunday, let's go!
Before reading I want you to do four box breaths.
Exhale to a count of four, holding your lungs empty for a four-count, inhaling at the same pace, and holding air in your lungs for a count of four before exhaling.
Repeat 4 times.
🖼 Meme of the week:
❓Self-reflection question ❓
What is a habit I know I need to change but haven't changed yet?
It's extremely hard to change & implement multiple habits at the same time. Focussing on changing one habit at a time is a more sustainable and successful way to change your habits.
Here is a passage from the amazing book ⬇️ describing how to do this.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
by Eric Jorgenson
"Changing habit:
Pick one thing. Cultivate a desire. Vizualize it.
Plan a sustainable path.
Identify needs, triggers and substitutes.
Tell your friends.
Track meticulously.
Self discipline is a bridge to a new self image.
Bake in the new self image. It's who you are now"
"First, you know it. Then, you understand it. Then, you can explain it. Then, you can feel it. Finally you are it."
By Chris Williamson
Snippet ⬇️
"Douglas Murray is on the show today.
He told me about a story from Philip Larkin the English poet and novelist.
Larkin said:“I felt like I’d been shunted to the side of my own life”.
Oftentimes there’s a thing we must do, something we’re called or compelled to do, and yet that we can ignore this sense and proceed in a different direction.
Not take the risk.
Not try the thing or make the change.
This is how we shunt ourselves to the side of our own lives.
By ignoring the things we feel called to do in place of things our fears rationalise that we should do instead.
We can protect ourselves from failing publicly by ensuring that we fail privately.
Even though it doesn’t seem it in the face of a big scary decision, the pain of regret hurts much worse than the pain of failure.
Get out of your own way."
Rules:
Re read your favourite books
Never take advice from people on the sidelines
Always pursue the path that has a bigger luck surface area
When you think something nice about someone, tell them
Stop and savour the beautiful moments
Radically reduce your news consumption
Move your body every single day
If you want to get better at something, do it everyday straight for 30 days
Default to generosity
Make decisions that your 80 year old self and 10 year old self would be proud of
Have faith in the dots
Be interested in everyone you encounter
Use money to simplify not complicate
Always prioritise people
Make a list of things you never regret doing
Link to read in rule in full here
🚀 Share Never Fully Heard 🚀
If you know someone who would enjoy being a part of this community please forward them this email or send them this link below.